How A Man Can Change His Personal Style – PermanentChange Psychology – Fashion Tips Hi.
I’m Antonio Centeno, the founder of RealMen Real Style.
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And today I'm going to be talking about howto change your personal style – basically, creating conditions for change.
Now, this is really important.
Notice, I am focusing on the word change becausechange is hard.
Eighty-five percent of us could do betterat work.
We've got a boss or a mentor who's tryingto help us change.
And 85% of us are going to fail.
Ninety-five percent of us, who start on adiet, fail to maintain that diet or fail to maintain and keep that weight off – 95%failure rate.
Ninety-eight percent of us fail whenever wewrite down and try to do those little New Year's resolutions that we try to do everyyear – 98% fail.
So, failure is the rule.
It is what happens most of the time.
So, if you want to go out there and improveyour personal style.
You want to start looking better.
Understand that if you don't understand theforces that are working against you to fail, you're going to fail most of the time – thevast majority of the time.
And so this video is about showing you thesix factors, which if you understand those and if you can control them, you're goingto drastically increase the chance that you are going to succeed.
And that this change is going to stick.
So, what are the six things I'm going to betalking about? I'm going to be talking about personal motivationand personal ability, social motivation and social ability, and structural motivationand structural ability.
So, six components here, and I'm going togo into each of them very quickly.
So, what is personal motivation? Well, this isn't saying that “I just wantto improve my personal style.
” This is having a very specific reason forwhy you want to look better.
Maybe it's because you want to get that girlthat you've been looking at for six months and haven’t have the courage to ask herout a date.
You want her to get to notice you and at leastto have this favorable impression that he, at least, is a sharp dresser.
Perhaps, you're a husband and you've beenmarried for five years but you want your wife to — you really want her to still be attractedto you.
And you want to step up your game a bit.
Or perhaps, you're a father and you just want– you know that you represent your family every time you go out.
And you're tired of looking like the guy — thatyoung, 20-year old guy because you're no longer him.
You're in your mid-30s and you want to showthe world that you're an up-and-comer.
Whatever your motivation may be, write thatdown and be very specific about why you want to dress better.
It's important that you have this personalmotivation that you're very specific about what it is.
Now, personal ability.
You know this is about you understanding whatit takes to improve your personal style.
So, a great resource here at Real Men RealStyle as we put out a lot of information that can improve your ability.
We've got courses.
There's just a lot of information also outthere across the web.
You can go out there and buy books.
You can hire a coach.
I mean, there are many things right here thatyou can do to improve your personal ability.
But your personal ability is you understandingand you having the skill set to make that change.
Because if you just go out there and spenda lot of money on clothing without knowing what is quality clothing or what you needto buy to have a great solid wardrobe, you're going to end up wasting a lot of money buyingthings that don't fit you.
So, again, on the personal, you want to havemotivation and you want to have the ability.
Now, let's talk about social motivation andsocial ability.
Social motivation is, “Who do you hang outwith?” Are you putting yourself in environments inwhich you have no motivation to improve the way you dress? If you spend all your free time downstairsin your basement or in your garage working on your — and I'm not saying there's anythingbad about working on your vehicles.
But if you never get out, you know, it's kindof hard for you to be motivated to dress better because you're not going put it to good use.
Or if you're hanging out with friends who, their idea of dressing sharp is putting on a polo shirt with their shorts instead ofa raggedy T-shirt.
Let me just say that it's going to be hardto change in this environment.
You should start, you know, looking at possiblygoing to or becoming part of events that will force you to dress a little bit better.
Perhaps, you want to start taking your family– perhaps, instead of going out to eat five times a week, you go out to eat two timesa week.
But you go out to a little bit nicer of arestaurant and you make it more of an occasion.
And you need to dress up a little bit more.
Not that you have to, they would still letyou in if you were in T-shirt and shorts.
But it's more about, you want to dress nice.
You want your family to go out.
This is a nice dinner you're going to enjoywith your family.
Or maybe if there are clubs you're lookingat, you realize that “I want dress better.
I'm going to go to places in which the baris raised a bit.
” So, this is social motivation.
This is surrounding yourself, becoming partof groups.
Another one is you could join a private club.
There are a number of these out there in which– and these are really neat because you're putting yourself and you're going out thereand making – you're not forgetting about your old friends.
But you're making new friends.
You're getting around people who are like-minded, who want go places and you're just broadening your horizons.
When it comes to social ability, who in yournetwork can help coach you? For some guys, they're going to have to hirea coach.
Other people, they simply just need to lookaround.
You know maybe there's someone at work thatdresses really sharp.
And maybe you can approach this person andsay, “Hey, where do you do your shopping at? Is there somebody you can put me in touchwith who is helping you take it to the next level?” Perhaps, there's a menswear, you know – andI'm not talking about just a salesman, but I'm talking a menswear expert in your townthat you can go talk to.
And maybe be very clear, “I'm not going tobuy clothing from you right now but I really would like to be able to stop in here andask you questions.
” And this is about social ability.
This is about you having somebody that youcan talk to and learn from as a coach.
There were many online options, as well.
I've got friends over at Hendricks Park, thatwhere my friend, Lisa Bruckner – Grant Harris over at Image Granted.
You know these are more professional services, but if you're serious about this, you want to have the social ability.
You want to have those mentors and coachesout there.
Now, let's talk about structural motivationand structural ability.
So, structural motivation – this is aboutyou having a reward and kind of a penalty system for you achieving your goals.
Maybe it's something where you go out andyou buy yourself a really nice jacket.
Or you go out and you buy yourself somethingeven smaller, let's say a really nice dress shirt but you can't touch it.
You put it over there and it needs to be adjustedto fit you a bit better because it was off the rack.
But you tell yourself that if you meet allyour goals, if you do all of these things that you’ve kind of laid out for yourselfin this system, that you will take that to the tailor in two weeks to get it adjustedto fit you.
If you fail, and perhaps you didn't get yourwife in on this – if you fail, that goes right back to the store and you have to returnit.
You know it's something like – it’s ahuman response that we're actually more motivated if we're going to lose something than if weare going to gain something.
So that's why I kind of put that little scenariothere.
But the whole thing is you can't take it backto the store.
I mean, you don't want that to happen.
But if you fail in your goals, you know, hey, that's kind of a kick in the butt for you to get out there and to start dressing betterthat week.
Or to pay attention to those little details, to start taking better care of your shoes.
And if you do that for two weeks, you getthis little reward.
And it doesn't have to be anything big.
You know maybe a shirt is a little bit toobig.
I mean, it could be something really small.
The thing is you want little victories tohelp you – motivate you because those do make a difference.
Now let's get to structural ability.
This is where you set things up, so that it'seasier for you to dress better than it is for you to not dress better.
One of them is simply laying your clothesout the night before.
Don't iron your clothing in the morning.
Don't steam your suits in the morning.
I mean, simply lay out your clothing.
Make it so that if you were late for work, it's easier for you to throw on this clothing that is simply laid out versus you runningyour closet and putting on something that, well, just doesn't look great because thatclothing is laid out there.
Simply having that structure there is goingto make a huge difference.
This has been Antonio Centeno.
I'm over here at Real Men Real Style.
I founded this website because I wanted tohelp just average guys, normal guys dress better.
And I hope you've enjoyed this.
Again, this is probably one of the most importantvideos I've put out because change is important.
It's hard to do.
And if you don't have a system, most likelyyou're going to fail.
So understand the six forces, which were affectingyou.
See them for what they are and control them.
Take care and best of luck in making the changein your life.